Saturday, 24 November 2007
What About Heterochromatic Love?
queenesther has left a new comment on your post "When Loving a White Woman is Better":
whew. this was a little dizzying, reading all of this commentary. i know so many african-american women like ms. boo who toe a hard line with black men and interracial relationships. aside from the fact that it's your life and you are responsible for your own happiness, the bottom line is, just because someone is black doesn't mean that they will understand you. or appreciate you. or respect you. or love you. sometimes, what you get is the exact opposite. and this is coming from someone who loves black men very much -- but not more than i love myself.
i've dated way too many african-american men that didn't get where i was coming from at all. more often than not, the fact that i'm young, single, black, female, college-educated (BA so far) with a great career, never married, no kids/no pregnancies/no abortions (i've never even had a cavity) -- and i've got good credit -- seems to offend and intimidate, and (strangely enough) somehow makes me suspect.
and no, you're probably not going to believe this, but i'll say it anyway: i could honestly care less about material possessions. i just want a good guy.
check out this article "marriage is for white people" by joy jones and then check out the stats: there are a lot of sisters out there like me -- black women who are willing to marry a good man, regardless of his race. or not get married to anyone at all, rather than invite someone into their life just for the sake of being with a black man.
mr. holland is right, on all counts. real love (not fetishism, mind you -- because i don't know if what he had with "eva" was real or not) is so rare that when it comes along, you have to say yes, no matter what racial package it's wrapped up in.
who knows? that white guy or that white girl could very well be the one that God wants you to be with. (the Bible speaks of not marrying outside yours beliefs/religion. it doesn't say anything about race.) and if your union is one that God condones and sanctifies, who are the ms. boos of the world to spit on that?
whew. this was a little dizzying, reading all of this commentary. i know so many african-american women like ms. boo who toe a hard line with black men and interracial relationships. aside from the fact that it's your life and you are responsible for your own happiness, the bottom line is, just because someone is black doesn't mean that they will understand you. or appreciate you. or respect you. or love you. sometimes, what you get is the exact opposite. and this is coming from someone who loves black men very much -- but not more than i love myself.
i've dated way too many african-american men that didn't get where i was coming from at all. more often than not, the fact that i'm young, single, black, female, college-educated (BA so far) with a great career, never married, no kids/no pregnancies/no abortions (i've never even had a cavity) -- and i've got good credit -- seems to offend and intimidate, and (strangely enough) somehow makes me suspect.
and no, you're probably not going to believe this, but i'll say it anyway: i could honestly care less about material possessions. i just want a good guy.
check out this article "marriage is for white people" by joy jones and then check out the stats: there are a lot of sisters out there like me -- black women who are willing to marry a good man, regardless of his race. or not get married to anyone at all, rather than invite someone into their life just for the sake of being with a black man.
mr. holland is right, on all counts. real love (not fetishism, mind you -- because i don't know if what he had with "eva" was real or not) is so rare that when it comes along, you have to say yes, no matter what racial package it's wrapped up in.
who knows? that white guy or that white girl could very well be the one that God wants you to be with. (the Bible speaks of not marrying outside yours beliefs/religion. it doesn't say anything about race.) and if your union is one that God condones and sanctifies, who are the ms. boos of the world to spit on that?
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