I did get all of the e-mails, but you're obsessing about this, John, and so it's hard for me to find time to read all of the e-mails.
Did you know that [white] psychiatrists diagnose Black people as paranoid schizophrenic at twice the rate of white people? Do you know why? Whites are always doing shit to us and telling us to our face, "You're wrong! I didn't do what you accuse me of."
When we get to the psychiatrist's office, we tell the psychiatrist that several people are out to get us because, in fact, several people ARE out to get us! The police are out to get us. The Government that keeps building new jails is out to get us. All-white juries are out to get us. And white people who see us in a white neighborhood and immediately call the police are also out to get us. The supervisor of the New York Department of Education who told my father, "Niggers don't get promoted" was out to get my father and ALL Black people.
Maybe that's why my father went insane. He couldn't forget the enormous hurt that white people had done to him and his family, and he didn't even realize the degree to which hurting over that was turning him into a different person.
You're not crazy, John. What you perceive as a color-aroused affront and attack against you really IS as you perceive it. But, if you can't stop thinking about this day and night, then you are going to have to go to a psychiatrist and tell him/her, "I have a problem and I can't stop thinking about it day and night."
Another alternative would be to start a self-help anonymous group in the basement of a church in your town called, W.A.A.M. (Whites Are After Me). I'm serious as a heart attack when I suggest this! Or we could hold these meetings over Skype, with ten or twenty people participating over the Internet and talking about what whites have done to us and are doing to us, and strategies we are developing for not letting it drive us insane or change who we fundamentally are/were.
One strategy is to contact another Black man who understands your experience and who can support you and help to guide you when the situation would otherwise drive your train off the tracks. But, when you ask other people for support and guidance, it won't help unless you do what they say. In this case, I'm saying, send the guy a letter and then move on.
If you don't do what I'm saying, I know that you will continue to obsess about this and while you're obsessing there will be many other opportunities that you won't even perceive because you are thinking so much about “PISS INDUSTRIAL PRODUCTS.”
Tell me about your family, John. How are they doing? Are they getting all of the attention they should at this critical time in their lives while you're writing me e-mails about “Piss Industrial Products”? Aside from “Piss Industrial Products”, how are things going financially, John? Is everything on course? How do you feel about summer, John? Are you getting an opportunity to walk out the front door, walk across the street and smell the flowers and the freshly cut grass? How is you're dog doing, John? Are you walking him? How do you feel about the Soccer World Cup? Are you watching the games? (Brazil beat north Korea yesterday!)
If this all sounds like bullshit and you want to go back to talking about “Piss Industrial Products” again, then you need to attend a meeting of "Whites Are After Me" (WAAM). An important number of well-placed and other whites ARE after you, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, city, state and country, and you need support and suggestions about how to keep it from driving you crazy.
If you get Skype, I'm sure there are ten people who would like to participate in our first meeting of Whites Are After Me. In this case, the first step to getting help is realizing that you have a problem and the problem is NOT you (except to the extent that your ideational, emotional and behavioral reaction to white color-aroused antagonists allows white people to drive you insane).